the_gmanfandomcom-20200213-history
Sonic Dreams Collection
(After the intro, we cut to the G-man at his desk in his room looking disturbed) G-man: …What did I just witness? Seriously, I’ve reviewed weird shit before, but this? I can’t even wrap my head around it! But I know you want me to review something, so here’s… (He sighs) Sonic Dreams Collection… (The theme for Green Hill Zone starts as clips from the game begin to play) G-man (V.O): Apparently, this is supposed to be a small collection of unreleased games for the SEGA Dreamcast that someone found. Of course, this is fake, but I can’t understand why ANYONE would come up with this! (Cut back to the G-man) G-man: And you know what? I have got words for this piece of-! Voice (V.O): Hey! G-man: Who said that? (Cut to Vinesauce Vinny in is usual location. During his and the G-man’s conversation, it cuts between them) Vinny: That was me, jackass! G-man: Vinny from Vinesauce? What the hell do you want?! Vinny: Are you seriously reviewing Sonic Dreams Collection? G-man: Yeah, your point being…? Vinny: Listen, since we both think this game came from the depths of Hell, why don’t we review it together? G-man (Sighing): If you insist… (Cut to the main menu) G-man (V.O): Okay, so we’ve got four games to choose from. There’s Make My Sonic, Eggman Origin, Sonic Movie Maker, and My Roommate Sonic. Let’s start with Make My Sonic since that’s at the top of the list. Vinny (V.O): According to this, this was made by something called MJStudios. If you search this up, you’ll find a website related to wedding photography. This is just a shitty Sonic OC creator. And the weird thing is that you can upload your creations to Twitter, and something called SEGANET. We’ll get to what that is in a bit. G-man (V.O): Our next game is Eggman Origin. Apparently, this was supposed to be an MMORPG, but few have ever seen past the title screen. If you try to play this game, it’ll tell you that there’s no network adapter connected. (Cut back to Vinny) Vinny: There IS a way to see the actual game, but we’ll get there when we get there. For now, this game is waste of space. G-man: This next game, however… Holy shit. If you thought something like "What they possibly do next?", you’ve seen nothing yet! (Cut back to the game) G-man (V.O): Sonic Movie Maker sounds harmless. A movie maker featuring Sonic the Hedgehog? What could go wrong? Well, in some world where this was a thing, SEGA discontinued it when they found, quote, "Darker subplots". Vinny (V.O): It starts off all innocent, but we quickly learn that it’s far from it. It’s housing many fetishes like BDSM, fattening, vore, birthing, shit like that. But then it all goes downhill when- (The player falls down a tunnel. When they look up, they a Rouge the Bat overhead) CHRST ON A BIKE! WHAT THE FUCK?! (Cut back to the G-man) G-man: Did we just get birthed by Rouge? What sick bastard came up with that idea? Let me Google this. Hold on… (Cut to a time card that says "One Google search later", and then back to the G-man) G-man: Okay, so this game was developed by a company called Arcane Kids. Want to know what else they made? (Cut to…) G-man (V.O): Bubsy 3D Online! (The "Dun, dun, dun!" music plays before we cut back to Vinny) Vinny: Are you serious? What kind of joy did they get out of something as god-awful like Bubsy 3D? G-man: Hell, if I know! (Cut back to the game) G-man (V.O): Our final game is titled My Roommate Sonic. And if you think this’ll be harmless, you’ve clearly don’t have a damn clue. Vinny (V.O): It starts off with you, the player, and your roommate, Sonic, watching TV. Suddenly, you get a text message on your low-budget phone from Dr. Eggman. Whom of which tells you to… (The message "Give him the tickles" pops up on the phone’s screen) Uh… G-man (V.O): Okay, I’m drawing the line at "Give him the tickles"! Seriously what else could they possibly-? (Sonic’s eyes slowly become one. Cut back to Vinny) Vinny: Yeah, I think we’re done here. Now, earlier in this review, we mentioned SEGANET. Well, there’s actually a way to get it. There’s a username and password both hidden in the game somewhere, if you use those in the SEGANET application hidden in the game’s files, it’ll log you in so you can play Eggman Origin. G-man: But do you really think we’re gonna play it after what we’ve seen? Hell no! We’ll leave that for you to discover. Overall, this game is fucked up on so many levels. But seeing as how you played this long before I did, Vinny, I ask you: What did you think? Vinny: Well, here’s a brief summery: (Cut to a slideshow of screenshots from the game) Vinny (V.O): Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, what the fuck is that? And crap. (Cut back to the G-man) G-man: And I think that’s a good note to end it on. Well, I am the G-man… Vinny: And I’m Vinesauce Vinny. Both (Simultaneously): And that’s all you need to know about that! Peace! Category:Episode